Katie 2/12/16 “Let’s Talk About Love”

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, let’s talk about love. It’s the defining force of our existence, for it was in love that we were created, by love that we are saved, and through love that we are perfected. It drives each and every one of us. The more love we feel, the happier we are.

The most important thing in our lives are our relationships. At the end of the day, all we want are family and friends who are supportive to us. We spend a lifetime cultivating them. Some come easily, naturally, effortlessly. Others are a hard won battle. Hopefully it doesn’t take a lifetime to learn how to discern between poisonous relationships and tough ones.

Valentine’s Day is all about lovers, but what about our relationship with ourself? Don’t we deserve to feel love for ourselves the same way we do for others? I want you to go deep today, and really think about yourself. Set some time aside today for yourself and use it to reflect and assess how you’re doing. Now that you’re ready, please proceed.

I think we all know that self-love is where our joy comes from. When self-love is deeply established in your heart, you shall never want for love. A lot of people think of love in a backwards direction. They think that if someone loves them, that it will open their heart and heal all their ills. This is a false, limiting belief.

Love and marriage do not heal or correct. It's not a magic spell that fixes all our ills. Those exist just as before. Love has no power to change us or our life like a light turned on with a switch. If you're unhappy and have problems now, they will persist if left alone. Happy relationships are a great tool for the healing process, but not a cure-all. This is why divorce happens. People expect love to fix them and live happily ever after. We must first master self-love.

It’s one thing to know this, and another to feel love for yourself. Life can be hella hard, and kick your teeth in and leave you bleeding and alone. The things that happen in life can bury the love we are born with. If you are reading this and think you’re not worth loving, that you can’t ever forgive yourself for your past, or that you’re beyond reach, I want you to know that you’re deceived in these feelings. We are all beings of light and love. We’re Heavenly Father’s children. You have a divine birthright, and are not only worthy of love, but have an eternal spring of it within you.

When you’re having a bad day, smile at a stranger. Think of someone you care about and do something kind for them. This could be as simple as emailing a friend, making your family’s beds, taking your neighbor’s trash bin to the corner for them, or helping a senior bag up her groceries. One of the best ways to build self-worth is to serve. You have capable, helping hands. You can bring light and love to someone, and that’s truly amazing.

As children, we are sometimes shamed for our behavior. It’s not always done in spite, but it still affects us. We carry that shame forever if we don’t do something about it. Think of little children. They are innocent and pure. When they make mistakes, it’s not because they did it to hurt someone. It’s not on purpose. They’re too young to know any better. The same is true of you. When you were punished as a young child, you didn’t know, either. Go back in your heart and mind and rewrite the way you were spoken to. Change the words from a harsh, crushing punishment to words that uplift and heal and guide. Replace all the bad with good. Speak to yourself in your mind the way you would speak to a sweet child, desperate to learn and to please. You would use loving words. You would uplift. You still need that as an adult. More than need, you deserve it. As we rewrite our past, we begin to write a better future.

If there are things you feel regret for, do this same exercise. Forgive yourself and know that the person you are now is a much better, stronger person. Life is not for perfect choices. It’s designed for us to make mistakes and learn from them. We are still very much like children. This is the only life we’ve lived, and we’re going to mess it up the first time! God knew we would sin, that is why he made a plan for us. Just as Christ’s Atonement is infinite, it can cover our finite weaknesses. If the Lord with His strict justice can forgive you, and He does, so can you. Listen to your Father and trust His love. His perfect Son delivers you from the memory of your sins. You don’t have to be harrowed up by them anymore. It’s time to move on and progress.

Thanks for reading, and know Claire and I love you! Now scoot your butt off to a quiet, meditative space and start the process of renewing, invigorating, or beginning your self-love. You’re so worth it!

Live well,

Katie

P.S. Some good literature on the subject of healing past feelings is as follows:

Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol S. Truman

Healing Feelings From the Heart by Karol S. Truman

Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson